Therapy for Anxiety in California
For overthinking, self-criticism, and the pressure to always get it right.
When being capable starts costing you
You're the person others rely on. Thoughtful, capable, responsible. You try hard, care deeply, and carry more than your share.
And privately? You're exhausted.
You overthink every conversation and replay what you said. You can't rest without guilt or say no without anxiety. You worry you're disappointing someone. You look confident on the outside while feeling tense, self-critical, and unsure on the inside.
You know your patterns. You understand why you do this. But understanding doesn't make it stop.
That's because perfectionism and people-pleasing aren't just thought patterns. They're survival strategies your body learned a long time ago—and your body hasn't gotten the memo that it's safe to let them go.
Your anxiety isn’t a personal failure, it’s how you learned to cope
It’s a nervous system response to chronic pressure — pressure to get it right, to handle things well, to stay ahead of mistakes, to prove your worth through what you achieve.
At some point, being careful and self-critical probably helped. It may have kept you safe, connected, or valued.
So your system adapted.
Now those patterns run automatically — even when you’re not actually in danger.
The same traits that helped you succeed — perfectionism, overthinking, people-pleasing — are also what keep the anxiety going.
These aren’t character flaws. They’re protective strategies.
Here’s how they often show up:
Fear of getting it wrong
You think decisions through from every angle because mistakes feel bigger to you than they seem to others.
You research, reconsider, and replay — not because you’re incapable, but because getting it wrong feels costly.
The overthinking is an attempt to feel safe.
Self-criticism as protection
If you hold yourself to high standards, maybe you’ll avoid judgment.
If you catch mistakes first, maybe they won’t sting as much.
Self-criticism can feel responsible — even motivating.
But over time, it keeps your nervous system on edge.
Over-responsibility as safety
You take on more than your share because staying ahead feels safer than falling behind.
You anticipate, adjust, carry the emotional weight.
It looks like competence.
Underneath, it’s anxiety trying to prevent something from going wrong.
When the Bar Keeps Moving
With internal pressure, the standard rarely stays still.
You reach a goal — and almost immediately start thinking about what’s next.
You prove yourself — and feel the need to keep proving it.
You hit stability — and begin scanning for what could go wrong.
Relief doesn’t last long. The bar keeps moving. And your nervous system never quite gets the signal that you’re safe — or that you’ve done enough.
Why Pushing Harder Hasn’t Helped
You’ve tried doing what usually works.
Being more disciplined. More organized. More prepared. More self-aware.
Of course you’ve tried harder. That’s what’s always worked before.
But when anxiety is tied to chronic internal pressure, more effort doesn’t create relief. It reinforces the cycle.
If the bar keeps moving, trying harder just means you keep chasing it. This isn’t a motivation problem.
It’s a nervous system that learned to equate pressure with safety.
And willpower alone can’t retrain that. When anxiety is rooted in internal pressure, it doesn’t stay contained.
It shows up in the places that matter most — your relationship with yourself, your money, and the people you care about.
That’s where we’ll focus.
Anxiety can show up in multiple areas of your life
You may see it in your relationship with yourself
You're your own harshest critic. You monitor yourself constantly. You can't turn off the voice that says you're not doing enough, you should be further along, you need to be better. The self-criticism feels responsible. Like if you stay hard on yourself, you'll catch the mistakes before anyone else does. Like high standards are what keep everything from falling apart. But over time, that voice stops being motivating. It just keeps you on edge. It shows up as perfectionism that moves the bar the moment you reach it. Overthinking that researches every decision until the window closes. Physical tension that lives in your chest and jaw and stomach and won't release. Exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix — because you can't turn off even when you try to rest. You know you do this. Understanding it hasn't made it stop.
You can stop proving yourself. To anyone — including you.
Or in your relationship with money
The same overthinking that keeps you up at night makes financial decisions feel impossible. You research until you're more confused than when you started. You know, intellectually, that you're probably okay — and you still catastrophize at 2am about everything going wrong. A slow month doesn't just feel inconvenient. It feels like evidence of something. Your worth and your income have gotten tangled together in a way that makes every financial decision carry more weight than it should. You undercharge because naming your value out loud feels as uncomfortable as disappointing someone. You say yes to financial obligations you can't afford because the boundary felt too costly. It's not a knowledge problem. You're informed, careful, and still anxious. That's because the anxiety isn't really about the money. It's about what the money means.
The numbers were never really the problem.
Perhaps you see it in your relationship with others
The same people-pleasing that makes it hard to say no also makes you lose yourself in relationships. You accommodate automatically — before you've decided to. You monitor the room for tension and feel pulled to fix it. You take on emotional responsibility that was never yours to carry, and you do it so consistently you've stopped noticing it's happening. You say yes when you mean no. You go quiet when something bothers you to keep the peace. You explain your decisions in paragraphs when a single word would suffice. You apologize for things that aren't your fault. You're not doing this because you're a pushover. You're doing it because somewhere along the way you learned that keeping everyone okay was how you stayed safe. Your nervous system is still running that calculation — even when you're not actually in danger.
You can care deeply about people without losing yourself in the process.
What we'll work on
Shifting your nervous system
You can understand why you overthink every decision, but that doesn't stop you from lying awake analyzing what you said wrong. That's because the anxiety lives in your body, not just your thoughts. We use both talk therapy and Brainspotting to help your nervous system actually release the fear and tension—so you can make decisions without endless research, rest without guilt, and say no without your body going into panic mode.
Understanding the roots
The perfectionism, the people-pleasing, the constant monitoring—these didn't appear out of nowhere. We'll explore what you learned about safety, worth, and connection growing up. What did you witness? What was expected of you? What happened when you made mistakes or needed help? Understanding the roots helps it make sense—and starts loosening the pattern's grip.
Building new patterns
Right now, the overthinking, the self-criticism, the automatic yes—these happen so fast you don't even notice until after. We'll work on catching the pattern earlier. Noticing when you're about to research a decision for the tenth time. Recognizing when you're taking on emotional labor that isn't yours. Building the capacity to pause and choose a different response—not perfectly, but progressively.
Reconnecting with yourself
However anxiety is showing up in your life, underneath the perfectionism and people-pleasing, there's a version of you that knows what you need, what you want, and what's actually important. We'll help you find that again.
What changes
Not your ambition. Not your standards. The grip.
Surviving
You feel like yourself again.
Less inner noise. A growing sense of calm — not because everything is perfect, but because you've stopped pushing against yourself.
01
Over-functioning
You stop carrying everything alone.
Rest stops feeling like something you have to earn. You ask for help. You realize your worth was never the point.
02
Performing
You stop managing how you appear.
Less driven by who you're supposed to be. More rooted in what you actually feel and need.
03
Self-doubt
Decisions get quieter.
You start listening to yourself instead of second-guessing. You relate to yourself with more respect and less criticism.
04
How We'll Work Together
Brainspotting
When talking about it isn't enough, we use Brainspotting— a brain-body approach that helps your nervous system release the tension, pressure, and fear that drives perfectionism and people-pleasing.
Weekly therapy or an Intensive
Weekly therapy sessions
50-minute weekly sessions This format works well if you want:
- Consistent support as patterns show up in real time
- Space to work on multiple areas over time
- Ongoing accountability and skill-building
- Gradual, sustainable change
Investment: $210 / session
Therapy Intensives
Extended sessions over 1-2 daysThis format works well if you're:
- Stuck in long-standing patterns of perfectionism or people-pleasing
- Dealing with burnout from over-functioning
- Limited on time but ready to go deep
- Wanting accelerated progress
Investment: $1,000-2,500
The approach is the same whether you choose weekly sessions or an intensive. The difference is pacing and structure.
Not sure which format is right for you? Schedule a free 15-minute consultation and we'll figure it out together.
Who can benefit from this approach
Therapy for anxiety & perfectionism may be a good fit if you...
Feel disconnected from your own needs beneath the pressure to perform
Want more than surface-level coping strategies
Are ready to do the work (I'll guide you, but this requires your participation)
Feel driven to do more, be better, or get it right in order to feel okay
Struggle with chronic self-criticism or anxiety
Find yourself over-extending, saying yes when you want to say no
Common Questions About Anxiety Therapy
If you don’t see your question here, check out my full FAQs.
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It depends. Some clients work with me for a few months to address specific patterns. Others work with me for a year or more as they make deeper shifts. We'll check in regularly about your progress.
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No. The goal isn't to make you less capable or ambitious. It's to help you achieve without the constant anxiety, self-criticism, and exhaustion. You can still have high standards—they just won't be destroying you.
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Many of my clients have tried therapy that stayed too surface-level—focused on changing thoughts without addressing the deeper patterns. The combination of talk therapy and Brainspotting often works when traditional therapy alone hasn't been enough.
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That's exactly what we'll work on together. You don't need to figure it out before you start. That's what therapy is for.
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Just click the “Contact Me” button to book our initial call. During our call together, we’ll have a short conversation about what’s bringing you to therapy now, answer any additional questions you might have, and overall get a chance to see if we’re a good fit.
You don’t need to keep proving your worth
You’re allowed to be enough as you are